Yes, for those of us that are Judy Blume fans, that sounds familiar, and I stole it for my post this time because it seems to be exactly where I am right now. I have accomplished a goal that I set out to finish 12 years ago. I am graduating with a Bachelors Degree. This should be a big deal! This should be something I brag about and celebrate, right? The weird thing is, I'm not even sure how I got here. Or where I'm supposed to go now. I've spent so long trying to accomplish this goal, that I'm not sure how to respond to actually doing it. It feels like so much happened along the way that this, by comparison, isn't that big a deal.
Now don't get me wrong, I am an advocate for education, a strong work ethic, and using your God given abilities to better this world. But how do I do that? In the beginning I was married to my first husband, I wasn't sick yet, and I wasn't a Christian. So my goals then, compared to my goals now, are incredibly different.
How do I use this amazing gift of information, education, and intelligence to serve God? It's not a philosophy degree, or a religious studies degree, how do I use modern technology to serve God and what purpose did he have for me getting this degree. Obviously this is the one that I was supposed to get, he gave it to me. Obviously, I want to use it to serve his purpose, but what is that?
So here I am, a day after finishing my final paper for my degree saying (or rather praying) about what the next steps of my life should be. Not just in my career but I'm looking at the bigger picture, where does he want me to be as a servant of Christ, where does he want me as a wife and mother, where does he want me, well, period?
Big changes like Eric getting a new job, me graduating from college, and I'm sure more to follow are to me are a sign that God is pointing me in a new direction. That this part of my life is over and it's time to take stock and move elsewhere. But where?
Proverbs 28:13 “There is surely a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.” (NIV)
That is my answer. Regardless of what God has planned for me, it is good, I have hope in it, and as long as I am walking towards my savior that hope will sustain me.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't know where I will be in life, or in my job, but I do know that I am a beloved child of Christ, that he will lead me to where I need to be to serve him best in every aspect of my life.
Now, to stop trying to figure out what that is and trust him to show me.
K
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