Some people love this holiday. Some people don't. I think that love should be the foremost thought on everyone's mind EVERY day.
I don't understand the reason to celebrate one day a year, if you are being loved every day by someone. It doesn't have to be a "special someone" it could be just appreciating that there is a God that loves you more than any human being could. It could be your children, your friends, your family.
There are very few people in this world who don't have at least one person that loves them.
Let me take a minute to break it down just a bit.
Romantic love -
Ladies, this is for you. Love your man for everything that he does for you on a daily basis and make a big deal about it all of the time. It's easy to complain and worry. It's easy to expect great things on this one day. But don't. Being content in your relationship and loving your man before everyone but God should be your daily life, even in the middle of trouble a smile and patience can go a long way. If you want to gift him. Gift him with telling him how amazing he is or doing something little that you could do later on and he would appreciate it just as much.
Men - Do women love flowers? dinner out? a night without the kids? a weekend away just the two of you? Yes. But romance is what SHE likes. Even if that is burgers grilled at home and a movie or dinner at a cheap coffee house with vegetarian local food. Don't break the bank on it. Again, flowers are way more fun when you aren't expecting them than when you are. Or do something that she's been asking you to do that you just didn't feel like doing. Clean out the garage, finish painting that room, fix the plumbing in the laundry room. Whatever it is that she wants most, sacrifice and give it to her.
Singles - Treat yourself to a day with your best friend and celebrate the relationship that you have. Don't let people box you into a stereotype and make you think that you have to have a "significant other" to enjoy a day of love. We are all so busy that planning a guy or girls day could be just what you need. Or spend time with your family, be that grandma, mom and dad, brothers or sisters. Love is God and love is always a good thing.
Kids- You have so many people in your life that love you and do special things for you. I know that in elementary school everyone gets a valentine, but go further than that. Do the dishes for your parents/parent, choose not to argue with them, choose to love the people around you and be a giver without expectations of reward.
Everyone should feel loved every day. If you want this day to be special then go for it! But I think that every day should be valentine's day. Full of love and giving, and should be love in all directions.
Happy early Valentine's Day!!!!!!!
K
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Look at me.....first.
Not so long ago I was that crazy, outspoken girl that always wanted to be the center of attention. Most conversations that I had were focused around what was happening in my life and how something wasn't fair, so how someone had wronged me, or why could that person not like me. I yelled, I screamed, I bragged, I was prideful and indignant for no reason that anyone could understand. Quite honestly I felt like everyone around me should feel lucky to be around me because I was smart and funny, and pretty, and I had it all together.
Reality check. I thought I had it all together. Then my first husband divorced me, I became ill with end stage renal failure, and I saw who my true friends were. Bad circumstances tend to scare off fair weather friends, sometimes they will scare off even those you thought would take a bullet for you.
All of this happened about 5 years ago and since that time, much has changed. I met the love of my life Eric, who not only asked me to marry him while I was on dialysis, but literally saved my life a couple of times prior to me having a double organ transplant a month after we got engaged. Six months after transplant we got married on the front porch of our new house.
Funny how things that you never saw as important change when you become a disciple of Christ. That phrase makes a lot of people uncomfortable, Disciple of Christ. Religion and false teachings of people that use God to hide behind and something to manipulate people have given those who love God and therefore live to his standard and not their own, a bad rap.
People that I consider some of my best friends get uncomfortable when I bring up God, not because I am preaching at them but because I am sharing my life and how much better it is with God in it. They see rules, and I see freedom. They see rhetoric, and I see truth. They see something that is open to interpretation and I see the word of God.
Yes, I'm a Christian, yes, I live my life in a biblical way. You would think that me becoming more about changing myself into a better person would be something that everyone could get behind. But in the last three years I have found that isn't true.
People are more comfortable with someone who isn't trying to make their life better and continuously growing and changing. They want you to stay the same so that they can too.
This isn't a judgement, it's my own experience.
These days, when I say look at me first, I mean I look at myself and see what I can change about me prior to looking at someone else and telling them to change because you can't really change anyone else. It took me until I was 40 to figure that out.
I choose to follow God because I have seen how it has made my life better, in little and in major ways. These days I look at myself differently because I can look closely and see the ways that I need to grow to be closer to God and that in doing so I am more loving, more compassionate, more caring and more focused on what other people need and less on what I need.
I am no martyr, but I am so far from perfect that I appreciate the grace Christ gives me and the love that I have always been surrounded with. Even before I devoted my life to Christ, I was blessed with amazing relationhips that I treasure to this day.
But it's wonderful when you can look at your life and realize that you are now serving a purpose bigger than yourself. When instead of wanting more than what you have, you appreciate your blessings. Your perspective is different because what you care about has changed.
Being human, of course I still worry about where the money is going to come from, if I will be better or worse after my surgery next week, if my husband and I will work through any problems that arise, if I can be a better wife, mom, and person. But the doer in me now has to step back and trust. Not an easy thing to do when you are used to being a control freak. But I know that God has my best interest at heart, all the time. Romans 8 says so. :) I know that whatever is happening is what is supposed to be happening, per God's plan and not mine, and his plan is always better than mine any way.
These days I try not to worry, or give into fear. I try not to attempt to control people and situations that honestly I can't control anyway. I pray that I can continue to keep my standard as the one God laid out for me and that my goals coincide with his.
For the first time in my life I am really trying to humble out and be joyful, Even in the worse of circumstances.
None of this would be possible without the holy spirit in me and around me. None of it would happen if not for God's love for me. Do bad things happen to good people? You better believe it, but what they decide to do with it is what allows them to grow or stay the same.
So yes, good or bad I am a disciple of Christ. Yes, I choose his way over mine. Do I think that everyone should do it? Sure. I recommend at least trying it before judging it, because that is the honest way to look at things. To experience them for yourself, and to come to your own convictions one way or the other.
Me, I love my life this way, because in every situation I am encouraged to love. I really enjoy loving people even when it makes them uncomfortable.
K
Reality check. I thought I had it all together. Then my first husband divorced me, I became ill with end stage renal failure, and I saw who my true friends were. Bad circumstances tend to scare off fair weather friends, sometimes they will scare off even those you thought would take a bullet for you.
All of this happened about 5 years ago and since that time, much has changed. I met the love of my life Eric, who not only asked me to marry him while I was on dialysis, but literally saved my life a couple of times prior to me having a double organ transplant a month after we got engaged. Six months after transplant we got married on the front porch of our new house.
Funny how things that you never saw as important change when you become a disciple of Christ. That phrase makes a lot of people uncomfortable, Disciple of Christ. Religion and false teachings of people that use God to hide behind and something to manipulate people have given those who love God and therefore live to his standard and not their own, a bad rap.
People that I consider some of my best friends get uncomfortable when I bring up God, not because I am preaching at them but because I am sharing my life and how much better it is with God in it. They see rules, and I see freedom. They see rhetoric, and I see truth. They see something that is open to interpretation and I see the word of God.
Yes, I'm a Christian, yes, I live my life in a biblical way. You would think that me becoming more about changing myself into a better person would be something that everyone could get behind. But in the last three years I have found that isn't true.
People are more comfortable with someone who isn't trying to make their life better and continuously growing and changing. They want you to stay the same so that they can too.
This isn't a judgement, it's my own experience.
These days, when I say look at me first, I mean I look at myself and see what I can change about me prior to looking at someone else and telling them to change because you can't really change anyone else. It took me until I was 40 to figure that out.
I choose to follow God because I have seen how it has made my life better, in little and in major ways. These days I look at myself differently because I can look closely and see the ways that I need to grow to be closer to God and that in doing so I am more loving, more compassionate, more caring and more focused on what other people need and less on what I need.
I am no martyr, but I am so far from perfect that I appreciate the grace Christ gives me and the love that I have always been surrounded with. Even before I devoted my life to Christ, I was blessed with amazing relationhips that I treasure to this day.
But it's wonderful when you can look at your life and realize that you are now serving a purpose bigger than yourself. When instead of wanting more than what you have, you appreciate your blessings. Your perspective is different because what you care about has changed.
Being human, of course I still worry about where the money is going to come from, if I will be better or worse after my surgery next week, if my husband and I will work through any problems that arise, if I can be a better wife, mom, and person. But the doer in me now has to step back and trust. Not an easy thing to do when you are used to being a control freak. But I know that God has my best interest at heart, all the time. Romans 8 says so. :) I know that whatever is happening is what is supposed to be happening, per God's plan and not mine, and his plan is always better than mine any way.
These days I try not to worry, or give into fear. I try not to attempt to control people and situations that honestly I can't control anyway. I pray that I can continue to keep my standard as the one God laid out for me and that my goals coincide with his.
For the first time in my life I am really trying to humble out and be joyful, Even in the worse of circumstances.
None of this would be possible without the holy spirit in me and around me. None of it would happen if not for God's love for me. Do bad things happen to good people? You better believe it, but what they decide to do with it is what allows them to grow or stay the same.
So yes, good or bad I am a disciple of Christ. Yes, I choose his way over mine. Do I think that everyone should do it? Sure. I recommend at least trying it before judging it, because that is the honest way to look at things. To experience them for yourself, and to come to your own convictions one way or the other.
Me, I love my life this way, because in every situation I am encouraged to love. I really enjoy loving people even when it makes them uncomfortable.
K
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
A Blessed Life
Today was the 3 year anniversary of me getting a second chance at life. On this day 3 years ago I was getting a new kidney and pancreas through transplant. I was 37 years old and for some reason I was not afraid at all.
Somehow I knew that the surgery was going to change my life forever. And it did. As always, God had a plan for my life that I knew nothing about and it was an amazing thing. Three years after the fact I remember less about the hospital and the pain killers that were so strong that I would fall asleep in the middle of conversations. I remember less about not being able to eat because my new meds made me sick and that my anemia made me depressed for weeks. I remember less and less about the pain and the suffering that I went through and I remember more and more the person that it turned me into.
You see, in the year 2010 not only did this tranplant save my life, it gave me marriage to the love of my life, a son that I never expected to have as a bonus love in my life, a new home for our family and the truth and love of God.
God has given me so much in the last 3 years to rejoice over I can't count the blessings.
Of course, being chronically ill isn't all hearts and roses, I have had several hospitalizations with infections, I have had to stay home from work and take IV meds through a picc line for a month, I have had complications, I have had pain, I've had to withdraw from school with only 3 classes left so that I can have surgery. That same surgery was supposed to happen twice before and didn't because of previously mentioned infections, I have struggled. I have been frustrated with my body and it's lack of "being able to do what it used to".
At the same time I have become a follower of Christ, which has given me the strength to keep going. I have deepened my relationship with God, I have fought for a better marriage with my husband, I do my best to love my child unconditionally, I have surrounded myself with people that not only encourage me in my successes but correct me in love when I hurt them, or when I am hurting myself. I am better able to love.
Today was an amazing day. I worked, but all in all I woke up to a loving husband that teased and wished me a Happy Wednesday (his way of telling me that he remembered what today was). I had amazing conversations with several of my friends about their lives and how they were doing, which good or bad always brings me joy. I was encouraged by a friend at work through email who is a survivor of a different chronic disease that I inspired her because I was so open with my feelings.
I went to church and stood up to share the good news of today and my evangelist started my good news for me by sharing that it was good that I was back, how grateful I am that he noticed that I hadn't been there. Then another person stood up to share good news and hers was to lift up a friend of mine Helen and I (Helen has cancer) because she saw us as examples as to how to be faithful to God in times of tribulation and suffering.
I was so humbled, because any good that I show in my suffering is only because God has instilled it in me, only because he gave me a joyful heart that refuses to give up, only because he surrounded me with people who lift me up instead of knocking me down.
I am filled with gratitude at the end of this day just like all the other days of my life, because every day I wake up to a world where I am never alone. God holds my hand, or has Eric or someone else do it for him. That love is neverending and fills me up.
My relationships show me how I am doing in my relationship with God, and today I was encouraged to find out that I am doing better than I thought I was.
Today was an incredibly wonderful day.
James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
What a gift this life is and though life will change and pain and suffering are a part of that, love will never change.
I love you all.
Kris
Somehow I knew that the surgery was going to change my life forever. And it did. As always, God had a plan for my life that I knew nothing about and it was an amazing thing. Three years after the fact I remember less about the hospital and the pain killers that were so strong that I would fall asleep in the middle of conversations. I remember less about not being able to eat because my new meds made me sick and that my anemia made me depressed for weeks. I remember less and less about the pain and the suffering that I went through and I remember more and more the person that it turned me into.
You see, in the year 2010 not only did this tranplant save my life, it gave me marriage to the love of my life, a son that I never expected to have as a bonus love in my life, a new home for our family and the truth and love of God.
God has given me so much in the last 3 years to rejoice over I can't count the blessings.
Of course, being chronically ill isn't all hearts and roses, I have had several hospitalizations with infections, I have had to stay home from work and take IV meds through a picc line for a month, I have had complications, I have had pain, I've had to withdraw from school with only 3 classes left so that I can have surgery. That same surgery was supposed to happen twice before and didn't because of previously mentioned infections, I have struggled. I have been frustrated with my body and it's lack of "being able to do what it used to".
At the same time I have become a follower of Christ, which has given me the strength to keep going. I have deepened my relationship with God, I have fought for a better marriage with my husband, I do my best to love my child unconditionally, I have surrounded myself with people that not only encourage me in my successes but correct me in love when I hurt them, or when I am hurting myself. I am better able to love.
Today was an amazing day. I worked, but all in all I woke up to a loving husband that teased and wished me a Happy Wednesday (his way of telling me that he remembered what today was). I had amazing conversations with several of my friends about their lives and how they were doing, which good or bad always brings me joy. I was encouraged by a friend at work through email who is a survivor of a different chronic disease that I inspired her because I was so open with my feelings.
I went to church and stood up to share the good news of today and my evangelist started my good news for me by sharing that it was good that I was back, how grateful I am that he noticed that I hadn't been there. Then another person stood up to share good news and hers was to lift up a friend of mine Helen and I (Helen has cancer) because she saw us as examples as to how to be faithful to God in times of tribulation and suffering.
I was so humbled, because any good that I show in my suffering is only because God has instilled it in me, only because he gave me a joyful heart that refuses to give up, only because he surrounded me with people who lift me up instead of knocking me down.
I am filled with gratitude at the end of this day just like all the other days of my life, because every day I wake up to a world where I am never alone. God holds my hand, or has Eric or someone else do it for him. That love is neverending and fills me up.
My relationships show me how I am doing in my relationship with God, and today I was encouraged to find out that I am doing better than I thought I was.
Today was an incredibly wonderful day.
James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
What a gift this life is and though life will change and pain and suffering are a part of that, love will never change.
I love you all.
Kris
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