That place between black and white

Typically I post on my blog about the positive side of things, or the negative but with the perspective of a woman who is very much loved by God and has the strength through him to live through and survive anything.

My whole life has been a series of decisions that for me were always so black and white, or so I thought.  When I look back now, and even in times now I see how I can take something incredibly simple and make it incredibly complicated.  Sometimes the black and white that I see isn't just tinged in gray, it is submersed in gray.  I used to think that this was a bad thing, that gray areas couldn't be possible because black and white to me were the same as right and wrong.

Let's face it; I don't like to be wrong.

And yet, the older that I get, the more that I see the need for black, white, and gray.  Translation, right, wrong, and compromise.

Don't get me wrong, God's word is always right. That isn't a part of this discussion, it's just the truth.  And the majority of the times, most people know the other sides of that coin, we all have a conscience that tells us when things are wrong, that is God given as well.

But that gray area sometimes gets a bad rap.  Many people, me included can see the in-between places not just as scary but as a copout zone.  And in certain cases that is absolutely true, when we make excuses instead of being accountable, when we won't take a side because we are afraid of judgment or of someone not liking us.

But when you look more closely at parts of the gray area of life, this is where compromise is born, and compromise in relationships, in love, in life, in understanding is absolutely necessary.

The gray area is also where grace resides, where we show love to each other when we make a mistake, where we are given permission by God to forgive ourselves because he has already forgiven us. Where Godly sorrow takes us to a place where we can change instead of feeling guilty, where grace resides and pride is put away.

I think that if you see everything in black and white you can sometimes get stuck there.  That suddenly instead of seeing a mistake you see someone's flaws so clearly that love and compassion no longer exist.  Sometimes we forget that we've been given the gift of love, caring, and relationships with so many amazing people and instead of showing that vulnerable part of our heart, we judge. 

We judge ourselves, others, situations, and anyone else that doesn't agree with our belief or who doesn't see the world as we do.

I think that some of my best moments in life were when I surrendered to the gray, when I surrendered to pure unadulterated love, when I allowed myself to be filled to the brim with compassion for someone I didn't even like.

Life surprises you sometimes by growing you in confusion and helping you to find exactly what you were meant to in that moment.

Black and white are necessary, as are right and wrong and knowing the difference, but real life and real experiences, and real growth happen within the gray where you don't really know what to do, but you trust God to show you.



K